Self-Esteem and Style
In this article, I’m going to share my story and thoughts about the connection between self-esteem and style.
In my early 20s, I almost committed suicide. I realized how deeply depressed I was, how ugly I felt, and how much I hated myself.
I was taught to feel worthless. My relatives screamed at me, telling me how much they hated me and wanted to get rid of me. There were many other kinds of abuse. It lasted through my entire childhood and the beginning of my youth.
So, in my early 20s, at that moment of unbearable pain, when I almost ended my life, I decided that this would be my turning point. I was going to grow self-love and self-esteem—one day at a time.
I’ve learned that there are two ways to love the aspects of myself: to accept and enjoy them, or to change them. If I can’t accept something about myself, even for years, it’s often worth changing. I visit my clairvoyant/therapist before making any serious decisions. If I can’t change the aspect that troubles me, it means that it’s a situation I have to go through. Even if it takes a lifetime to learn to love this part of me, I start the journey as soon as I can. Silently hating it only makes my life worse. I tell myself, “Ok, it is what it is. I’m giving up on hating it. I’m so tired of this fight. My endurance and strength allow me to move forward and be happy, even with this. In the end, it’s just a part of me—I am so much more than this problem. And I give my tender love to this physical, mental, or health-related part of me.”
I’ve learned to calm my mind about my uniqueness—crying, accepting it once I’ve run out of tears and energy to suffer. Then I find ways to be happy.
And one of them is fashion.
Wearing certain clothing and accessories is an ancient way to show status, create energy, and, simply, feel amazing. Dressing not to change yourself, but to express yourself—this is a big difference. This is where loving your own body and mind becomes essential. Be brave enough to show who you are. Don’t stress about the look—just be honest, and, of course, beautiful. Hide or reveal what you want, for you, regardless of trends or opinions.
I was able to grow my self-esteem from below zero, and I decided to encourage the people who appreciate my art to explore and love themselves more as well—one item at a time.
Here are my tips for self-love.
Growing self-esteem starts at home—when you’re alone in the room. Naked, and then dressed. What we feel when we’re by ourselves is what we carry wherever we go, along with our outfits.
Hug yourself, even kiss yourself, daily.
Smile and charm yourself in the mirror—flirt with yourself, dressed or naked.
Throw away everything that makes you feel sad or cheap. This doesn’t mean that what stays in your wardrobe must be expensive—it’s all about the vibe. It’s also very important to get rid of anything that carries bad memories, even if it looks beautiful.
Wear something that’s a step beyond your current mindset—more cool, fancy, controversial, joyful, relaxed, or worthy.
Better quality pieces make everyone feel better. Let your garments serve your body and soul. And sometimes, even if something is uncomfortable but reflects exactly how you feel, it can be worth the little torture.
Fashion is an amazing way to read your life story. Look at old pictures of your outfits and notice how they reflect what you were feeling at the time.
Take a bath in a crown. And in high heels, if you love them.
Buy yourself gifts. Big or small—it doesn’t matter. Even if it’s just something you need anyway, present it to yourself as a meaningful gift.
And I’m always here for you if you need pieces with a self-esteem boost included!
Bye-bye, love you,
Stay stylish, it’s healthy and it makes you happy :)
* This striped tie is created from scarf LOVE IS FREE.